I Love You & It's Not Enough
by iffulovedme
Summary: Itachi/Kakashi. Sasuke/Naruto. Second in the second arc of 'When I didn't Love You'. After Itachi broke up with him, Naruto began dating Sasuke. While living with the Uchihas, Naruto learns the truth. Love is complicated- it's as simple as that.
1. 01 Revelations

It was four in the morning when Itachi walked into his room and was slightly annoyed to find Sasuke in his bed, a huddled lump under his blankets.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke rolled over.

Itachi sat down on the bed. "Wake up."

Sasuke picked up his head, eyed his brother sleepily before rolling onto his stomach. "What?"

"What are you doing in my bed?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I fell asleep while waiting for you."

Itachi waited for the conversation to become relevant.

"Where were you last night anyway?"

"Deidara's. He and Sasori had a fight. Stop stalling."

"I'm not stalling," Sasuke objected.

Sasuke bit his bottom lip.

"Naruto's moving in."

"Do what you like."

"I wasn't asking for your permission," Sasuke snapped, though the relief was plain on his face. He was angry and he didn't know why.

"I know." Itachi half smiled at his brother. He hesitated before ruffling Sasuke's hair. "I've got to go."

Sasuke held still. "How are things with Kakashi?"

"Fine. He's worried about me."

"Because he cares about you."

"Because I'm blind," Itachi corrected.

Itachi walked to the door without stumbling. Sasuke knew how hard it was for Itachi's movements to seem effortless. Even though Sasuke was twenty and no longer a child, Itachi still amazed him.

"Itachi, I've always wanted to know..."

"What is it, Sasuke?"

"If you still had your sight...would you be with Naruto?"

It was quiet in the room. Itachi's breathing was calm. He gripped the door handle.

"What does it matter? He's with you now."

Itachi twisted and pulled open the door.

Naruto was standing in front of him, carrying a box of his things.

While Itachi couldn't see Naruto, he could sense his presence.

"I heard you guys talking..." Naruto peaked around Itachi and looked at Sasuke."Sorry. I'll just put my stuff in your room, okay Sas?"

Itachi put his hand forward, lightly touching Naruto's arm. Naruto flinched.

"It's okay. I was just leaving."

Naruto stepped back to let Itachi pass. He didn't want them to be connected. Itachi had made it quite clear he wanted nothing to do with him.

They heard the door close. Itachi was gone.

"Come here," Sasuke invited.

Naruto stood where he was.

"Itachi's...blind?"

Sasuke's shoulders tensed. "Does it matter?"

"No...I just wish you'd told me." Naruto lay on the bed next to his boyfriend. "It changes nothing."

Except it changed everything.


	2. 02 Distractions

"Kakashi."

"...nnngh?"

"It's me."

"I know it's you Tachi," Kakashi sounded more awake. "It's four thirty. What's up?" Code for: what's wrong?

"Nothing. Everything. I don't know."

"Itachi, you're not making sense," Kakashi spoke slowly, enunciating each word.

"Naruto knows."

"Ah." Kakashi didn't quite know how to respond. "Well, we knew he'd find out eventually."

_Speak for yourself_, Itachi wanted to say but didn't. So instead, "I know." _I just I thought I'd have more time,_ was what Itachi didn't - couldn't- say. "Anyway, where are you?"

"Dei's. He asked me to stay after you left. Didn't want to be alone." Pause. "Jealous?"

"No. Do what you want." _I_ don't _own you_, Itachi thought, irritated. _Stop acting like I do._

"Are you coming over? I can get you something from Starbucks."

"Yes. But Starbucks doesn't open for a couple hours."

"I know a guy," Kakashi replied mysteriously and hung up. Itachi left it at that. Sometimes it was better not to know.

Kakashi buzzed Itachi up fifteen minutes later. Itachi, it seemed, had walked through Central Park. It was raining outside, Kakashi brilliantly deduced from the damp patches on his sweatshirt, the way Itachi's dark hair stuck to his neck. Kakashi didn't bother reprimanding Itachi, warning him about getting a cold. Itachi just didn't care about those things. As a general rule, Itachi didn't care about much on principle.

Itachi followed Kakashi into the kitchen where, sure enough, there were two chai lattes with the Starbucks insignia on the counter.

"Thanks." Itachi ignored the drinks and instead pushed Kakashi against the refrigerator. He kissed Kakashi hungrily, hands tugging on short gray spikes. Kakashi's moans were swallowed by Itachi as he bit and sucked and dominated Kakashi's mouth. Kakashi was only too happy to let him. Itachi's mere presence always made him half hard, but this..this frenetic energy that Itachi was releasing...was unusual and god damn it if it wasn't hot. Kakashi pushed away any annoying thoughts that wondered where all this energy, this power, was coming from. He didn't care. Shouldn't care. They'd deal with it later. Kakashi helped Itachi get his wet clothes off. Itachi wasn't wearing anything under his sweatshirt, Kakashi was pleasantly surprised to find.

But his thoughts wouldn't be silenced so easily. Kakashi was maybe being a little selfish. But that was okay, Kakashi reasoned, because he was in love. He'd never been in love before, so he wasn't sure how this went. But Kakashi was a good lover. He wanted to be a good boyfriend. He wanted Itachi to feel good. Feel as amazing as Itachi always made Kakashi feel, like his intestines were knotting and twisting tighter until he could barely breathe.

"Do you have any lube?" Kakashi purred, pressing his face into Itachi's neck inhaling the scent of ivory soap and rosemary. It drove him crazy and Itachi would kill him one of these days and he wouldn't have it any other way.


	3. 03 Discord

"Don't need it. I want the pain."

That stopped Kakashi. "You want me to top?"

A jerky nod.

"I'm sorry, Itachi. I love you more than you ever imagine, so that's why I can't. Not when you're like this. You don't know what you want." Kakashi waited for Itachi to say something. The silence was scaring him.

"Itachi?"

"I understand," Itachi's tone was clipped.

"I want you," Kakashi affirmed. "This would be your first time as the bottom, no? And I want to do it right." _Not when you're half out of your mind_, is what Itachi heard.

Itachi leaned forward, dark eyes shining with potential cruelty. "You realize you might never get another chance."

"I never said I minded being taken," Kakashi replied, his tone light. He smiled at the fleeting look of surprise on Itachi's pale face.

"Idiot." Itachi pushed himself off Kakashi's chest.

Kakashi studied Itachi's face, his body language, but knew better than to expect to find a tell. "Do you want to talk about it?"

And just like that, Itachi was bombarded with memories of Naruto smiling, blushing, kissing him, holding him, loving him-

"No," Itachi said shortly. He had to sort through his feelings first. Had to figure out how much was relief, how much was regret, and how much was due to lack of sleep. And he wasn't strong enough to do it standing so he went to Dei's living room, knowing that Kakashi would follow, and collapsed on the couch with as much grace as he could.

Kakashi stood behind the couch. "Then I'll go check on Dei." Kakashi tipped Itachi's head back and kissed him lightly upside down. Just a mere brushing of lips. _It was sweet_, Itachi thought darkly, _and oh so tenuous_.


	4. 04 Resolve

Naruto plopped himself down on the bed by Sasuke's pale feet. They were smaller than Itachi's, but just as slender. His toes weren't painted, Naruto observed randomly. Itachi always painted his toes.

But did he still, now that he was..that he couldn't…Well, he could always go to a salon to have them done. But Naruto had a hard time imagining that. Itachi always liked to do things himself. He hated relying on anyone.

"Itachi seemed upset…Is he okay?"

Naruto asked Sasuke who was obsessed with working on his senior thesis.

Sasuke's onyx eyes didn't stray from the laptop. "Don't worry about it. Tachi'll be fine. He always is."

"Okay." Naruto sighed, bored of watching Sasuke do nothing but work. "Wanna go somewhere? Do something?"

"Mmm."

To most people it would sound as if Sasuke was giving the idea some consideration. But Naruto knew Sasuke wasn't paying him the least bit of attention.

"Sas~uke" Naruto groaned. He realized unless he resorted to drastic measures, Sasuke would happily spend the rest of the weekend in front of his laptop.

He smirked as an idea began to form.

Since Sasuke was already on the bed, the laptop balancing on his lap, it was perfect. Now, how to get the laptop out of the equation…?

Naruto extended his leg, his foot finding the laptop's charger. His toes wrapped around the cord and pulled it out of its socket.

"What the hell, Naruto?" Sasuke snapped. His laptop had only 3 minutes left.

"I'm bored. I want to play, Sas." Naruto crawled on his hands and knees until he was straddling Sasuke's legs, face close to his boyfriend's.

Sasuke sighed. "Okay, okay. Just let me put this away." Naruto sat back on his heels, waiting for Sasuke to put the computer on the nightstand.

The moment it was done, Naruto was pushing Sasuke down on the bed, kissing him, hungry for Sasuke's touch.

He needed Sasuke to wipe away the memories of another's kiss, of long ebony locks and a slanted, twisted smile.

And even as Sasuke spread Naruto's tan legs, even as he and Naruto consummated their relationship, Naruto had to bite his lip so hard it bled to keep from calling out Itachi's name.

In the afterglow, Sasuke felt Naruto's tremors. "Naru, love? What's wrong?"

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut. He would not cry.

Sasuke kissed his forehead, his nose, his lips.

All Naruto could think about was Itachi wandering around, sightless, blind, alone and vulnerable. It was ridiculous; he was Itachi Uchiha.

But Naruto hugged Sasuke to his chest, inhaling sharply.

It was fine. Itachi was fine. He, Naruto, was fine.

"Don't worry, Sas." _This has been going on for long enough. I'm going to get over Itachi. Somehow._


	5. 05 Miracle

"You've lost weight," Kakashi observed, tracing the outline of Itachi's ribcage with a finger. "You need to eat more."

"I'm not hungry." Itachi closed his eyes in pain. He rubbed his temples. "Just..just be quiet Kakashi." Itachi sighed, his shoulders sloping with weariness.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just a headache."

"That's it. You're going to the doctor today. Go by yourself or I'll drag you myself."

"Okay," Itachi replied, too tired to fight.

Kakashi kissed the back of Itachi's head. "I'm sorry, 'tachi. I don't know how to make this better."

Itachi smiled slightly. "You can't." His smile said _thanks for trying_.

*

"What did the doctor say?" Kakashi asked, making his voice loud so Itachi would know he was in the bedroom.

Itachi came through the door. It was weird, Kakashi thought, to see the regal and usually put together Itachi in sweatpants that hung off his thin frame. He really needed to eat something. Itachi had always been slender but now he was bordering on skeletal.

"You don't look so hot," Kakashi blurted before he could stop himself. He almost smacked himself.

Itachi glowered in Kakashi's direction. Then he crossed the room where he basicallly fell onto the bed next to Kakashi.

"It's called temporal arthritis. I have to take corticosteroidsand. Oh and asprin, lots of asprin."

"Stay there. I'll go get you some."

Kakashi got up from the king sized bed. At the door he looked back at Itachi curled up on his bed, black hair fanning around him. He looked so peaceful. But he didn't belong there. Still, Kakashi would treasure every moment. He could sense a turning point was just around the corner. Though when the time came, he wasn't sure he could let the Uchiha go.

When he got back, Itachi was fast asleep. Kakashi chucked and set the water and asprin on the bedside table. Then he got on the bed next to Itachi, lying back to back to the sleeping Uchiha. Listening to Itachi's breathing, Kakashi fell asleep even though it was only five in the afternoon.

A few hours later, Kakashi was awakened when Itachi grabbed his arm.

"Kakashi?" Itachi's voice was strained.

Kakashi rolled over onto his side and propped himself up with an elbow. "Yes?"

"Look into my eyes," Itachi commanded. Kakashi obeyed, cradling Itachi's face with his hands.

He gazed into the bottomless night colored eyes he loved so very much. And to his surprise, the dark orbs stared back. They were no longer lifeless. They sparkled with recognition.

"Itachi! You can see! How in the world…?" Kakashi felt his own vision blur with tears.

"I don't know," Itachi replied quietly. His own eyes were wet. "The doctor said it was temporal arthritis but that's just because my dad had it. I didn't get a biopsy done. I think it's because I was under a lot of stress. That can do it, you know?"

"I don't care. I'm just glad you're sight's back. Who else would appreciate all my visits to the gym?" Kakashi kissed him sloppily, giddy with happiness. "You know what this means, don't you?"

Itachi frowned at the tentativeness of Kakashi's voice.

"No. Tell me what it means."

"You and Naruto can be together now. Isn't that great?" Kakashi nearly choked on his own words. There was an acrid taste in his mouth, a burning sensation in his heart.


	6. 06 Breaking Point

Naruto woke up to Sasuke's tapping on the keyboard.

"God, don't you ever stop?" Naruto whined, pulling a pillow over his ears.

"I could ask the same of you," Sasuke bit back before he could stop himself, eyes full of hurt.

"Huh?"

Sasuke stopped typing. He closed his computer and looked down at Naruto's adorably confused face.

"Do you ever stop thinking about my brother? Can you, even?" Sasuke smiled sadly at Naruto. The anger was gone and all that was left was dullness.

Sasuke kissed Naruto clumsily on the forehead before adding in a gentle but firm tone, "Stay in bed for as long as you like. I'm leaving."

"Wha- where?" Naruto was trying and failing to comprehend what Sasuke was doing.

"I'm going to crash at Neji's," the Uchiha replied simply.

"Why?"

Sasuke knocked his fist gently against the side of Naruto's head.

His eyes burned through Naruto's body. "I don't suppose it matters if I tell you; you'll find out soon enough." He laughed mirthlessly. "Itachi can see again. He just sent me a text. I expect he'll be wanting you back." Sasuke rolled his eyes to the ceiling, taking measured breaths. "I don't want him to take you from me. I don't think I could bear that. But..if I let you go now, at least it'll be on my terms."

Naruto struggled to comprehend what was happening. "I…Thank you.."

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you or for Itachi. I'm doing it for myself. I want someone to love me, and just me. I deserve that much at least. I know I always lose against Itachi. But just this once…for the one who I love the most…I thought I could win."

Naruto felt his heart break. He saw clearly, perhaps for the first time, what the problem was. He didn't want to add to Sasuke's pain, but he needed to say it. Maybe then Sasuke would understand, just a little bit. "I'm not an object, Sas. I don't belong to anyone."

"No, not to just anyone," Sasuke agreed. "You belong to Itachi Uchiha. My bastard of an older brother."

Through his cloud of misery and confusion, something occurred to Naruto. "You decided this yesterday. Right? That was what the sex. I'd wondered why I could wrest your precious laptop away from you. Now it makes sense."

_You were saying goodbye._


	7. 07 Goodbye

Itachi stood. "I'm taking a shower. When I get out maybe you'll have stopped talking nonsense."

Kakashi gazed at him from the bed, words escaping him. His eyes asked Itachi what was going in that pretty head of his.

"We're not breaking up Kashi. It wouldn't be fair to Sasuke or Naruto." Itachi pulled his shirt over his head, the cloth muffling his voice. "Besides, what if...I don't know if Naruto even wants to get back together."

Kakashi smiled without any real happiness. "Naruto still loves you." _Don't kid yourself. _Then again, if love could make Kakashi put Itachi first, if it could make Kakashi want to be his best self, maybe love had the awesome power of making Itachi doubt himself. Kakashi couldn't see how anyone who had seen Itachi with his guard down could _not _be in love with the Uchiha. Kakashi considered himself very lucky indeed to be one of the few who knew the Itachi beneath the pretense, who dryly joked with Sasuke, who laughed with his head tossed back, who knew Itachi didn't care about his criminal good looks and dazzling charm. How could Kakashi, now that he'd seen Itachi's real smile, _not_ want to protect Itachi's dreams and push him to conquer, change, and move the world. Easy. Kakashi couldn't.

_Itachi, don't you know you're irresistible? _

"Whatever." Itachi disappeared into the bathroom. With the sound of running water in the background, Kakashi clasped his hands behind his head. If Itachi was going to be in denial, then so would he.

When they broke up, though, Kakashi would be there to say 'I told you so'. He pitied Sasuke; Itachi as a rival had to be extremely frustrating. He admired the kid for sticking it out for so long. Sasuke couldn't be blind (Kakashi winced mentally at his unintended pun) to Naruto's implacable, deterring love for Itachi. _He must really love Naruto, _Kakashi mused. Which was unfortunate, since so did Itachi. Why was everyone so obsessed with the blond? He was cute, Kakashi supposed. But he wasn't especially bright, he ate way too much ramen, and he complained a lot. Of course, Kakashi had always preferred Itachi's raven locks and ivory skin to Naruto's sun burned skin and yellow hair.

Kakashi rummaged in Itachi's bedside table for a sheet of paper and a pen. He used leg for a hard surface and began to write. He ruefully wondered if he and Sasuke had gotten together before, maybe they could've found a way to keep their respective lovers, and then Kakashi would not now be writing this letter. There wasn't a poetic bone in his body, so now that his heart was broken, there was no dramatic simile, no brilliant analogy. No, all he knew was that it hurt.

It occurred to Kakashi that he couldn't hear the water running. He looked up to see the gratifying sight of a naked Itachi. He was holding a towel in his hands, staring at it as if he didn't know quite what to do with it. Kakashi took advantage of the moment and discreetly slipped his note under a pillow. He rose and hugged the still figure. Itachi dropped the towel.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked softly.

"Body warmth. You looked cold."

"Oh. Okay." Itachi didn't say anything for a moment, his arms hanging by his side. Then, "Kashi?"

"Mmm?"

"You're weird."

Kakashi laughed. "I know. But..." _I love you. God, I want you to know that. Do you? _"Can we stay like this for a little bit?"

He almost thought Itachi would say no. Would snap at him and walk away.

"All right."

So they did. Then after a few minutes they fell onto the unmade bed and made love. Something was happening to Kakashi. He didn't know what it was. His mind was hazy with lust and other complicated emotions that made everything so much harder and so much more important than anything Kakashi had ever done.

As Itachi moved above him, inside of him, Kakashi was aware that he was smiling. _It's okay, Itachi. You don't have to do anything. I'm breaking up with you. This waiting for the inevitable is killing me. _His eyes burned but there were no tears. He could only see the words in his letter.

_I won't be around for a while so don't contact me. _

_No longer yours, _

_Kakashi _

Kakashi smiled weakly as Itachi kissed his neck. Itachi would probably burn the letter or something.

For the last time, Kakashi looked into the onyx eyes and confessed, "I love you."

Itachi kissed him to shut him up. Then he muttered, "Thank you".

No, Kakashi decided, that wasn't enough. Not anymore.

*

Sometime later Itachi's phone rang. When it continued to do so Kakashi prodded Itachi's shoulder.

"Itachi, your phone is ringing."

"I was blind, Kashi, not deaf," Itachi grumbled, reaching for his phone. "This is Itachi Uchiha."

Itachi sat up, his back ruler straight.

Kakashi mouthed, _What is it?_

"Is he in critical condition? That's good. I'll be right there."

Itachi snapped his phone shut. "It's Sasuke. He was hit by a car."

~TBC~


	8. Authoress's Note

To Whom It May Concern, as in anyone who reads this story [and for that I thank you :)],

Okay. There seems to be some misunderstanding. _I Love You & It's Not Enough_ is done. The TBC was confusing, I see that. However, chapter 7 is the last chapter. But worry not! The series (I'm not sure what I'm calling it yet ;)) is going to be a trilogy, hence the TBC.

Also, about chapter length - chapter 7 was the longest one yet!

Anyway I hope you'll stick with me and this story - you won't be disappointed! There are more twists and turns and I pick on the characters a great deal (out of love). And if you stay with me, I will *try* to make the chapters longer.

Thanks for reading *glows*,  
iffulovedme

PS. I'm open to suggestions as to what to name this crazy trilogy! Either a PM or a review would be fantastic!


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